DepriVed and BalanCE

Its raining since 6am... and its Saturday... I should have compensated all my deprived sleeps...
But if I do that I foresee I will be deprived of some other things which I valued most in my life.

I treated Santana a well fed lunch yesterday. This fella seldom takes lunch. He always look forward to enjoy his 'happy hour' .. Since it was Friday and we had a long lunch, I forced him to go lunch with me and Nojah.

Chilis was the chosen place. I brought a long with me a document on an alleged claim to study while having lunch and a doc of Santana's...  Derrrr???? during lunch? On Friday? I must be out of my mind. But I was left with the only choice...So lets kill two birds with one stone. Eat and Work at the same time.

Chilis being Chilis, we had to wait about 20 mins before we were ushered to the dining table. Nojah was given the privilege to choose the food from the menu. I started to review the doc given to me. The moment i saw the first tagline... I laughed... and asked Santana... 'U didn't have enuf cuti is it for your deepavali' ... Being Santana... he didnt understand until i showed the spelling mistakes. We had a good laugh.... something that I have not been deprived of !!!!! hahahhahaha...laugh!!!! Putrajaya was spelt Putrayaya... I know he didnt do that on purpose... Sometimes we have so many things in our plate that incidentally caused such things to happen. No one's perfect.....

I wanted to go thru the other doc... with nearly RMxxxxx Mil alleged claims, but then came the food. So food first then... Nowadays works have to be done//settled in between lunch/bfast/ while waiting your turn to see the Boss. So time management is very crucial. I even had to climb the stairs from Level 14 to Level 20 just becoz the Boss summoned for me. Lost my breath ! Nasib bail tak pengsan.

'Ey the food here comes in big portion la... Now I am really full" ..I was glad that Santana enjoyed the food. With Santana, you can talk almost anything under the sky. Being a senior who have been serving the bank (loyalty counts) for many years, he is a man whom I looked for and upon for some precious advice in life...
He reads a lot and tell the truth sometimes I just asked him what's happening around the world, he relays and narrates everything to me. The only thing is that I dont know if he lies to me.... hahahahh... But being a man who regards honor, integrity and trust as the integral part of one's life, he failed to do that. and I dont think he even try to do that ... Sorry Santana...... hahahahahah!!!!

I offered him coffee after lunch... he refused. I asked him again " You want beer? or tequila or whatever la...." He laughed and laughed. Well.. I am most sincere when I am with him not affirming that I am insincere with others... but I am the real person (my true self) -even shared with him my sorrows, my happiness, my fear, my anger, my thoughts and even my goals.

While Nojah was busy finishing the food, he asked both of us a question " Are you the same person when you are at home" ... hallamak.... dia dah bersuara....!!!! hehehhehe..
He looked at me and that was actually a sign I have to say something...
My answer was this:

"Frankly, I missed my old days... but I know its due to the task that I have on my shoulder now.  Nowadays, sometimes when I reached home, Amir has fallen asleep and my husband is infront of the TV...not watching the TV I guess but wondering when will I arrive home...safe ... in one piece..."

Nojah stopped eating and looked at me.

" Sometimes I think my other half didnt consider at all my situation now... he knows that I leave home as early as 645 am and reach home late than before. At the office, I am grilled to my bone ...have to think, manage, monitor, see the bosses, ups and downs... these are all drying my energy.... When I reach home all I wanna do is to rest. My hubby will then requested me to assist him to do some of his office stuff  ...and that means I am still working when I reach home...'

"This is very tiring. But I never verbalised what I have in mind to my other half. I keep it at the very corner of my heart."  I told Santana n Nojah... I feel bad... I feel I have neglected both the Contractor (my other half) an the Commando (amir). That's why I never said what's inside my heart out loud. I am trying to balance things in life. I know the works now is very demanding... and I am now spending more time at the office. I know what ever it takes, I have to find time for both of them especially Amir who is only 6 and needs my attention."

Santana said "that shows you dried your energy at the office too much... and he did give a piece of advice that forced me to think, evaluate and evaluate ..

Here's what he said - don't love the B...k... love your job!
The B..k will not sacrifice for you.
Your family must comes first.
Yes your job is important but you have to try to balance. Try to be at home at least early. Plan your work.. delegate...


I believe we have to balance..
But I am no superwoman ..
Some one has to sacrifice...
Be it time or money...
At this moment I am trying my best..
Family is still the priority..
Work is still the current focus

Whatever it is, I thank ALLAH for what HE has given me...

I just hope I will be given the strength and never ending energy to go through this ..