LIfe

Dah 3 hari aku kat KB ni. Tiap tiap bulan aku camni. Satu bulan kena visit dua state. Orang kata jauh perjalanan luas pemandangan. Betul lah tu. Tapi 'pemandangan' tu terlampau 'luas' ertinya. Terlalu subjektif untuk didefinisikan.

Selalunya kalau out station aku akan bawak Amir ngan Mr H. Tapi bergantung jugak lah pada masa dan tempat. Kalau kebetulan cuti sekolah aku akan angkut Amir ngan Mr H sekali lah. Orang kata sambil menyelam minum air.. so sambil bekerja tu aku anggap keje tu sebagai holiday jugak lah. Amir selalu gak ikut event yang around KL. Ramai la rakan pejabat yang kenal si kenit Mujibul ni. Lagi pun dia suka menyakat Nuja dan Yin. Bila dah bawak dia ngan Mr H kat tempat kerja aku..diorang tau la dengan saper aku kerja dan macamana aku kerja.

Aku rasa last skali aku bawak Amir ngn Mr H masa event SSP kat Penang. Lepas tu dah takde sangat sebab amir sekolah dan selalunya aku pergi dari hari khamis lagi. Tak nak la dia ponteng sekolah hanya disebabkan nak senangkan aku. So selalunya duty duty uruskan hal amir ni memang la terletak di batu jemala Mr H aku. Ok la aku rasa so far Mr H plays his role up to my standard. Cuma bab bab nak basuh baju ngan iron baju tu.. juara bertahannya masih aku lagi lah.  Kalau itu pun Mr H dah take over kurang plak fungsi suri rumah tangga aku... hahhahah.

So ada org ingat bila keje outstation menyeronokkan. Well memang tak dinafikan lah. Memang best. Tapi penatnya diri sendiri lah yang tanggung. Nak buat camner..dah keje kan. Kalau bujang kuranglah sikit tanggungjawabnya. Kalau yg dah kawin ..pastu takde maid.. tu diaaa.. balik aje out station terus tukar uniform.. change 'hat'. When u r at home u r the queen of the house and automatically u r expected to perform your duties diligently.

Ni...kat KB ni dah 3 hari. Tiap2 malam aku call Mujibul dan Mr H. .. just to check as to whether they have taken their bfast.. meal...
Guilty I am... sbb kena leave them like that. But it is a blessing to have someone like Mr H who will ensure basic things are supervised efficiently while m not around.

Tapi bila aku balik umah from out station siaplahhhh.... byk pesanan penaja dan upah yang terpaksa aku jelaskan. Nak buat camner.. a duty is still a duty. Right?

Aku tak pasti sampai bila kerja aku camni... selalu travel.. walaupun most of the times dalam negeri je tapi kalau dalam sebulan 2 ke 3 kali mau lunyai gak badan. Kalau aku drive hmmmmhhh lagi lunyai la jawabnya. Tapi disebabkan aku tak kisah dan suka apa yg aku buat ni... follow the flow je. Lagipun ini yang buatkan minda aku selalu bekerja..meeting new people... learning new things... those are part and parcel of my tasks.

...and i believe that 's life..and it applies to each and everyone of us.
If u dont like or enjoy your work..how can u enjoy your life? Furthermore life is short..live life to the fullest peeps!

So long!!

A DeDICatiON

Nak try tulis in bahasa ni.
Dah lama tak buat... kang ada orang kata aku ni poyo tak reti nak mendaulatkan bahasa ibunda sendiri.

Bukan taknak... dulu aku tulis dalam bahasa pun sama laju je aku tulis dalam bahasa omputeh tu. Tapi bila dah keje kebanyakkan masa aku cakap bahasa omputeh. So terbawak bawak lah. Lupa diri jugak tapi kat umah aku cakap melayu lah. Walaupun selalu gak tersasul ngan anak dan Mr H. Tapi diorang macam cool aje.

So sementara tunggu mak punya giliran jumpa doktor dipanggil aku rasa macam nak cuba tulis lah..apa apa citer yang terlintas depan mata aku.

Masa dah ambik no giliran, mak nak pergi toilet. Aku pun dengan rasa penuh kasih sayang menolak kerusi roda mak ke hujung bangunan. Dah gi toilet aku pulak lapar.  Singgah pulak kantin Hukm ni. Hmmh banyak makanan yang dijual. Aku ambik kuih ngan sandwich utk mak. By the way sandwich in bahasa apa eh? Hahhaha poyo!

On the way ke klinik surgeri aku terserempak ngan kak leha sedara sebelah abah. Dia macam tak kenal aku sbb mungkin dia tgk aku macam budak sekolah menengah. Hahhaha! Tapi bila aku juih kan mulut aku kat mak... baru dia perasan. Huh! Nampak sangat aku ni muda ! Macam macam pulak kak leha bercerita ngn mak kat tengah tengah jalan tu. Macam ada kaunter pertanyaan. Aku puaslah gerak gerakkan kerusi roda mak bagi signal..."dah dah lah tu... nak pegi klinik dah ni... kang lambat pulak". Signal kali ketiga baru menjadi. Aishhhhh... tu la orang perempuan..kalau dah jumpa ada aje ceritanya. Aku pun pasang telinga gak dengar. Kak leha kata anak sedara dia dah bersalin .. oh... kisahnya!

Now aku tengah tunggu giliran mak dipanggil. Kali ni nak buat check up colon mak. Dulu ada side effect lepas buat radioterapi. Aku, kalau masuk bab cerita pasal mak.ni mesti mengimbau kenangan 2 tahun lepas kat hukm ni. Masa mula mula mak di diagnose ada barah pangkal rahim. Macam macam perasaan ada masa tu. Kalau boleh taknak lalu lagi keadaan tu. Satu famili aku tunggang langgang sbb nak sesuaikan keadaan dgn kondisi mak. Pastu lagi Allah nak duga..abah pulak jatuh. Dua dua dalam hospital. So aku adik beradik macam zombi kadang kadang terkejar sana sini. Tapi aku nak salute kat adik adik aku lah sbb diorang ni kira strong. Aku aje yang tangkap leleh bila jaga mak ngan abah. Mr H, adik adik ipar pun banyak bantu... dari segi masa dan tolong tengok tengokkan anak aku yang ke sekolah. Mr H aku pun banyak berkorban..sbb banyak hari aku duduk hospital.jaga mak ngn abah. So dia kena uruskan anak dan tido sorang. ... hehhee..

Tadi aku tersilap klinik. Aku ingat jumpa ngan prof fuad kat wad onkologi. Tapi rupanya kat surgeri. Sampai aje aku kat klinik ni tadi aku disapa oleh sorang uncle  cina ni. Dia terus tolong masukkan kad mak dalam kotak. Aku bukan tak biasa.buat tu. Tapi agaknya dia tengok aku terkial kial tolak mak..so dia pun tolong. Tq uncle aku cakap kat dia. Pastu dia tanya aku " harini awak tak pergi skolah ka?" Aku terkedu kejap. Aku kata kat dia aku  dah keje... aku dah habis skolah. Lepas tu dia gelak... "ohhhh"... katanya. Korang yang baca ni pun kena tipu. Mana ada uncle tu cakap apa apa ngan aku. Dia cuma tolong aku je. Hahahhahahahhaha !!!! Tapi bab bab orang kata aku muda ni... dah biasa... jangan jealous hokayyyy.

Sekarang baru no 8. No giliran mak 20. Lagi 12 orang. Hmmmh tunggu je lah.

Aku rasa lepas ni mesti mak nak ajak aku beli nasi kandar sbb abah suka  makan. Aku tak berapa suka sebab aku tak suka nasi dan lauk yang kari sekari karinya. Bau kari kat tangan melekat sampai malam. Omputeh kata not my taste. Kalau makan pun aku letak kari tu setengah sudu je. Hahahha. Tapi mesti ambik lauk ketam. Phewwww... nak citer sikit ni. Semalam lepas mtg, aku ngan nuja gi makan ketam. Orang belanja. Mak aiiii memang la sedap. Syukur Allah masih bagi deria untuk merasa makanan yang sedap utk aku nikmati. Aku balik pun dah pukul 9.malam... tapau je untuk Mr H.

Masa nak sampai, aku call rumah. Seperti biasa panggilan aku dijawab oleh amir. Dia cakap ala ala orang bangla jual karpet pulak bila aku suh cakap ngan Mr H.untuk alihkan kereta dia. Ish budak ni terlampau banyak tengok rajalawak. Aku pun kadang kadang panggil.dia "mujibul" hahahahha. Sometimes he just made my day!.

Malam tadi kul 10 lebih aku dah terlena sebab malam semalam aku tak cukup tido. Masuk office semalam nuja tanya kenapa mata aku kecik. Sah aku tak cukup tido. Pastu masa mtg pun berkali kali aku menguap. 

Hari sabtu aritu aku dikejutkan dengan pemergian pak tam ke pangkuan Ilahi. Memang mengejutkan sebab tak sangka pak tam pergi macam tu je. Pak tam adalah Mr H punya bapak saudara. Sepanjang hayatnya pak tam ni memang kelakar dan dalam kelakar ada mesej yang dia sampaikan. Aku aku akan rindukan pak tam sebab walaupun aku bukan anak saudara dia.. tapi aku suka berbual dgn dia. Cara dia yang selamba dan direct to the point memang aku suka. Kadang kadang aku pun kena perli dalam dia melucu. Tapi aku tau dia memberi nasihat sebenarnya. Pak tam, im gonna miss u! Semoga pak tam tenang di sana. Utk mak tam.. semoga sentiasa tabah dan kuat. Allah hanya menduga hambanya yang kuat!  Aishhhh tetiba aku sedih plak. Sah aku ni memang senang tangkap leleh.

Ok. Aku rasa aku nak stop dulu. Lain kali aku sambung dengan topik yang lain.

Aku rasa aku dah macam dapat mood nak tulis dalam bahasa malaysia. Tapi kena polish la supaya bahasa dan nahu tu betul kan? Apa yang aku tulis arini rojak... tapi aku tulis dari hati.

Penat menaip kat phone niaaa.
Nanti kita jumpa lagi.
Ok?

Aku rasa dah tak berapa poyo!

Salam!

I am HeRe

As i am typing this entry, i feel so sleepy and at ghe same time craving for something  to eat.
This KLIA is beginning to be mushrooming with people...
Can feel the hustle bustle is hyping.

I am sitting at a corner near the entrance waiting for Nuja. Trying go do some reading.. got distracted each moment... simply cant concentrate.

I dont know what am i thinking.. feel empty...hollow n shallow. ... and simultaneously i keep on yawning...

Ok fullstop!

BalaNce of EMOTionS

I am not sure why I would like to write on this. Perhaps lately I am playing with my own emotions? or maybe we, Malaysians have portrayed to the community across the globe that we are a caring nation especially when it involves the sad tragedy of MH17.. .. I can go on and on about this...

Actually, I called a friend this morning as I wanted to get some feedback on certain matters that involve my work. He was late in replying. Thinking that it was a public holiday I didnt want to harass him even though that would be my normal and exact reaction....

I was taken aback when he replied.. sorry for the late reply, I am in the hospital. Dah... apa plak kena ngan mamat ni.. I texted him and out of courtesy asked whether or not he is ok. His reply was... 'It was my father... he is in CCU. Now being stabilized. Tq for asking". At a sudden I am speechless but I was glad that I asked. At least a small tiny weight of burden has been uplifted from his shoulder... How do I know? Well.. I have been in that situation before. A simple 'how are you" made my day!! Seriously that would spark a little motivational inside me and I could chin up a bit. Nithi.. I hope your dad will be okay. Just hang on there!

When you are in that kinda situation.. you wouldnt want to shatter your confidence and you are actually absorbing all the vibes around you be it positive and negative. Your emotions are fragile and a small misunderstanding may lead to an unnecessary arguments. That was why when my brothers and I were in that situation we would talked on anything else except the predicament that we were facing at that time. Relatives and friends should play a significant role not to provoke or invoke any matter or issue that would lead to dissatisfaction. In our situation, there were couple of relatives who were so POYO and passed unacceptable remarks. But luckily we were always together (my brothers and myself) and we were sending positive vibes among ourselves via our conversations and observations. It was telepheutic I guess.

See its not easy to balance our emotions. We have to be alert... not to give in to our emotions. Well... it is okay to cry and cry out loud... this is another means of releasing the tense inside you... the frightening moments... the unsure feelings.... But we could not keep on mourning and be saddened with what happened without giving ourselves chances to look up and see things differently. There is always blessings in disguise. Ada hikmah ke atas setiap yang berlaku ke atas kita semua. Agree with me?

So we can actually balance and control our emotions. Emotions are natural. Emotions mean no harm. But manage our emotions...

What I normally did when I was hit by en emotional storm ... first avoid myself from the social media platform as perhaps I have this tendency to pen down my frustrations, sorrow etc. If  I were to update my status negatively, I am exposing my emotions to others. What if people interpret things differently?

Rambut aje sama hitam, tapi dalam hati.. Subhanallah hanya Allah yang mengetahui.  When misinterpretation was done and not being rectified.. there will of coz be perhaps commotion, people got hurt etc..
We never know...

So, this is where I release what's inside me.... my hardship... my frustration... my jubilation..my experience... in a positive way. Here is the station and the full stop... until one FINE day I will come and revisit the moments documented herein.. i will be a satisfied person that I have control my emotions in a sober manner. Becoz at the end of the day, it teaches you to see things differently and positively.

So long !

KeJe yang TaK SUDaH

I have been in front of my lappy since yesterday.. trying very hard to finish a couple of papers that need to be submitted to the BOss.

Last nite, managed to settle half of them. and now trying to pukul habis... kasi selesai. I am finishing...yuhooo.. But the damage done was that..I was deprived of a good sleep and this morning had a terrible headache. But I have to say this.. that is the price of procrastination... Tu dia hambek kauuu... Tangguh keje lagiii...

Counting days to end of the year I have a few big events to handle...with one is just around the corner. An international CEO forum ... Malaysia is hosting and more than 70 countries are participating.. Went for  meeting yesterday... the hotel was in the state of confusion... Hahahah me too! But since green light has been given to me to chair the meeting and ensure that all relevant banks commit to whatever tasks that they have been given, I am putting high hopes that things will be just fine... just FINE!!! (even though I feel the drums beating... my heart actually... hahahah).

And as usual pitching presentations, interviews, hi tea with one media company on their proposals,  lunch appointment with a favorite Boss of mine *wink*wink are happening tomorrow. I am not sure which one should I attend or focus. That would definitely exclude BOSS's adhoc summons... especially on the budget for next year.

Now... come to think again. I am not procrastinating a.k.a menagguhkan kerja... Looks like the kerja is plenty on my plate... hahahahah...memang tak sudah keje aku jawabnya...
But Arida Fokus... fokus... i Know I will be FINE... a.k.a OK and not diDENDA!

Chiow!

My 2 cents worth (May 2014)

Hello there peeps and Salam to all..

So how’s life been treatin’ all of you guys? Guess everything is under controlled and manageable as well as negotiable.. Lol!!

I have been thinking what to pen down in this issue… too many things to write but too limited time to do so… sounds like I am finding a valid excuse eh? Yeah I know when you are fond of something… no matter what kind of hindrance that welcome you will be approached and overcome without any difficulty.. and at the end of the day you will ‘find’ that time…. A good spank to myself!

Well perhaps that would be the topic that I will write. Something light and a fact that we face in our daily life… that we fail or inadvertently neglect to prioritize. In other words… this is what we call Procrastinate. In a simple layman term it means delaying, putting things off, postponing something that needs to be done, etc. That sounds familiar right? It happens to me all the time. And yes I will try to find thousand and one excuses to validate my procrastination which in the end will make me ‘suffer’ as I have tons on my plate that need attention or due for delivery!

Being a ‘procrastinator’ myself, I believe I am not qualified to advice on tips to beat procrastination. Yup I did read some information on the net on how to avoid procrastination … the so called perfect mechanism, time management, tips and advices are spelt out everywhere. Those are actually strategies and means of avoiding. But I think the root of the problem is ‘attitude’. 

Quoting Zig Ziglar – “It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.” In a simple language it means: your success in life (altitude) is determined more by your desire to succeed (attitude) than by your natural talents (aptitude). That makes sense right? Attitude is everything as it rules the way you perceive world and the world perceives you.

Semuanya bermula dari sikap yang ada dalam diri kita. Sikap menentukan segala-galanya. Sikap yang positif dan konsisten pasti akan menjadikan kita sebagai seorang insan yang menjana kejayaan demi kejayaan walaupun terpaksa mengharungi segala ranjau berduri yang menanti di hadapan. Sikap juga menentukan kejayaan seseorang menempuh segala cabaran walaupun mengalami kegagalan pada awalnya.

Well peeps… my 2cents – the loudest and influential voice you hear are your own inner voice. It can work for or against you. It can be optimistic or pessimistic. It can put you down or cheer you on. You control the sender and the receiver, but only if you consciously take responsibility for and control over your inner conversation.

So chin up peeps! Do your best in whatever you do. You will never regret.

By the way.. .. Today, 11 May 2014 is Mother’s Day. To all mothers out there, this message is specially dedicated to you. – “You are the truest friend. Come what may, when trials are heavy and sudden, when trouble thickens around us, you are there and cause peace returns to our hearts”.

To friends who have lost their mothers… May Allah grant our mothers Aljannatul Firdaus… and Rest In Peace.

My 2 cents April 2014

Hello peeps!

Do you guys speculate? No? Yes? Maybe? … J Something that I chose to write in this month Bulletin.

Speculate is something that we, people tend to do or love to do. As it has been part of our daily life we sometimes failed to differentiate between doing it intentionally or unintentionally.

A good example of speculating is narrating a story that we heard from someone, perhaps our colleague on something. Of coz, we won’t realize if we have unintentionally or intentionally add more flavors in the story via our face expressions, hand and body gestures and even husky or high pitchy voices. So the original story has been added with herbs and spices to make it even tastier !!!

Let’s talk about what has been happening in the Bank. The latest issue was on the options given to all staff i.e. Bonus or Gratuity. Before the bank wide exercise was implemented to opt our preference, people have been speculating that the Bank’s decisive option would be on ‘Bonus’. It has been well spread via FBs, word of mouth, etc before the Bank/management come to the conclusion. See how speculation can become viral and suppress the truth.

[Being fair to all parties, I would like to think that the chain letter that exists and has been in practice in the Bank for quite some time is not another form of speculating BUT perhaps another communication medium to relay/narrate dissatisfaction. But this dissatisfaction should be done in a proper manner and whoever involved should face it with an open mind for the benefit of all parties; be it the staff and the management].

In a wider aspect, closer to home, no doubt everyone has been speculating on the missing of MH370. Social media (as a borderless platform of information as it qualified!) has been playing a main role play in this crisis. With all the online info which accuracy is easily compromised with, some of us speculate based on indefinite stories and information. Yes… we all can see all sorts of stories available online but are all these the truth or merely speculation??? We speculate like nobody business; putting aside the feelings of the victims/the relatives of the victims. Aren’t we selfish for that matter? Well… this is not about we Malaysians but it happens across the globe.

Being human, we cannot run way from not speculating. Even in tradable market shares such as stocks, bonds, currencies, commodity futures etc there is an element of speculation. But in this context speculation ( as per quoted in Wikipedia) is totally different as it involves attempts to  profit from short or medium term fluctuations in the market value of tradable good rather than attempting to profit from the underlying financial attributes embodied in the instrument such as capital gains, interest, or dividends.

The role of speculators is to absorb excess risk that other participants do not want, and to provide liquidity in the marketplace by buying or selling when no participants from the other categories are available. Successful speculation entails collecting an adequate level of monetary compensation in return for providing immediate liquidity and assuming additional risk so that, over time, the inevitable losses are offset by larger profits.

Now banking on the above definition, how is that to be at par with what we have been speculating internally in the Bank? Who gains the profit? None of us right?

So peeps, my 2 cents worth, let’s unite. I truly understand that this cannot be happened in a day like a saying Rome wasn’t built in a day! (Yes I think I am being too perfectionist) but hey… give it a try peeps. Civil Unity and Religious integrity will keep us as ONE and will not leave us DIVIDED. A challenge for us  though….   

My 2 cents (published in Bulletin Feb 2014)

Salam Peeps!

It was 6.45am in a cool  Wednesday morning , 12 Feb 2014,  when I received a whatsapp message from a colleague informing that someone whom I’ve known for a couple of years during my tenure with the Bank has left us… for good. While driving, the only word that I could utter was “Innalillahi Waiina rojiun… May You Rest in Peace Sis”.

Losing someone close to your heart is very disheartening… I believe every one of us will experience such a moment a couple of times in our lives. Even though we experienced it many times before, the feeling is still the same … bitter, sorrow and sadness encroaching us no matter how hard we try to hide the feelings, as if we want it to be one of those unwelcoming scary nightmares. But the fact is that the harder we try, the harder we couldn’t run away from those feelings..

Masih terbayang-bayang beberapa wajah yang saya kenali yang telah pun kembali ke rahmatullah. Ketentuan Ilahi tidak ada siapa yang dapat membendungnya. Tidak lambat atau cepat walaupun sesaat; sekiranya detik itu telah tiba. Orang kata ‘berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul”.. sesedih mana pun kita ketika mendapat perkhabaran pemergian rakan –rakan kita, tidak setanding kesedihan yang ditanggung oleh keluarga terdekat mereka.

Patah tumbuh hilang berganti - Tak semua yang tumbuh itu sama dengan yang lama. Tak semua yang baru itu sebagus dengan yang lama.  Each one of us is unique in our own very way. Yang penting di sini adalah kekuatan untuk  meneruskan kehidupan walaupun yang menanti di depan adalah ranjau dan duri yang bakal melukakan tetapi memberi pengalaman hidup yang paling berharga.

Talking about losing… I believe this also applies to losing friends and peers in the Bank.  As time goes by, we have different priorities in life. Differ in priorities might be one of the main reasons why some people took decisive stand to leave or move on.  There is no hard and fast rule as to whether this ‘regime’ is right or wrong. Leaving the current organization due to some glaring disciplinary or integrity issues are prima facie cases that equals to “please leave”. But when we have crème of the crème leaving the organization for good, this has always been an unacceptable move sometimes….at first (or perhaps depending on situation).  But to some extent, I believe warga BSN has been eyeing by other organizations out there. That shows we have caliber, we are dynamic and I would like to think that we are better than those people out there. Kudos everyone! On the same note, I refrain myself to touch on loyalty as I am of the opinion that this is something subjective and rebutable as one of the yardsticks to measure why some employees stay in and leave an organization.

Sometimes, unintentionally, we close one eye not to ever wanting to realize how important a person is until he/she leaves us. Well that’s life. It’s like a box of chocolates. We won’t know what will we get next… J.

My 2sen ….  Come on peeps! This is not the end of the world. People come and people go. That’s life… and that’s a norm. Whatever it takes live has to go on. We should stay focus; committed, not forgetting we have to be VIBRANT! Let’s strive towards giving the BEST to the Bank as at the end of the day, WE would benefit the MOST.

Note …… At the time I am writing this, the aircraft MH370 was reported went missing. Let’s pray for the passengers and the crews. #pray4MH370.

-Croco-