BiTTer - SWEEt

Finally we agreed to his request. He' s back at home now. I was the one who totally against his demand. But in the end I guess I should respect his decision...even though the fear is always there. All I ever wanted at this moment is to see him back on his feet again. If only I can take away all his pain, stress and pressure.... If only God permits...

Adjustments are currently being made here and there just to make things work, just to ensure everything is manageable. I have been on leave on and off. Deep inside, I thank all those colleagues who have been very supportive and understanding. And of course, every morning I wake up with twisted emotions and mixed feelings....thinking of the tasks that I left unattended or get someone to take over...and at the same time running up and down to be beside him or her.

He's gonna be admitted again in 3 days time while she is coming home for good after completing her 2 months treatment. I just hope that she will be fine.... something that is very uncertain I guess. For the past 2 months, I have been observing her ups and downs. She is definitely a strong person. She was full of constant courage to go thru the full package of the treatment. It astonished me. She embraced the patience and hold fast to her own belief that she will make it through...  and yes she sailed thru!

Having both of them unwell at the same time has taught me with valuable lessons; be it good or bad, be it sweet or sour; be it positive or negative - an experience that I can't demand by choice. It was given to me one after another; bit by bit and it hurts so deep...very deep. I finally discovered myself during this whole journey. Yeah... at times I can be highly positive and at times my strength is running low. When it ran low, I was totally not myself. But Alhamdulillah, God is Great. I am still sober and able to control myself even though there were situations that forced my patience to be at the lowest level.

I believe all things happened for valid reasons....
I may not be able to identify the reasons now ....
And I may don't even care what the reasons are..
... as long as I have them both back home again.