Hijrah yang abadi

There are so many reasons why i wanted 15 oct to end fast. But nothing beats the reason tht i want to be beside mak.

Told bos i need to take leave immediately after 15 oct. i need to be with her.

Today  i sat beside her. Nowadays she talked less.. bedridden.... Pegang tangan dia.. Usap rambut dia. Suapkan makan untuk dia. Tak tau esok esok masih sempat tak aku buat tu semua utk mak.

Harini memang tersentuh aku tgk mak.

Apa lagi bila Ed cakap at one stage dulu setiap hari mak selalu tanya aku. Rasa satu beban duduk kat bahu aku bila dengar Ed cakap macam tu.

Kadang2 tanggungjawab yg pelbagai buat aku selalu have mixed feelings...

At one side nak take care of mak. Orang kata mak boleh jaga 10 orang anak tapi seorang anak belum tentu dapat jaga mak sorang. At the other hand nak keep up to the expectation at work..and at the same time perform my duties as a mother and a wife. Juggling all these at one time made me insane at times. Insane as i couldnt give my best to all 3 at one go!

Skang ni mak dah memang kurang respon kat semua orang. Tgk cara dia tido dgn tgn tertib  dah tunjukkan yang mak dan ready.

Sharon from Hospis dah start visitation every week. That shows mak's condition.

Acc to her mak's condition is deteriorating. Her "time" is getting near.

Apa apa pun semuanya di tangan Allah. Takde apa yang lebih baik utk mak selain dari dikurangkan kesakitannya dan semoga dia pergi dengan tenang. Hijrah yang abadi dan kekal utk mak.

Allahuakbar.