Nursing MaK

Sharon the nurse from Hospis visited mak yesterday. It was my first eye to eye session with sharon. A nice lady though who understands the predicament and at the same time instill the need to be patience, strong and leave it to God.

I applied 3 days leave. Just to be with her. Nursing her. I dont even know when can I do tht if I dont take the chance now. Time is running fast. The only days that i can be with her are merely on weekends. And that depends too. So here I am. Trying my best to be at her side.

Mak was fast asleep when she came.

Sharon : pn hamidah, its me sharon. Open your eyes. How are u today?

Mak : fine.

Sharon : open your eyes puan... Your children are worried about your condition. Why are you not eating?

Mak : no response

Sharon : look here.. Who is here with u today? You recognize her?

Mak : my daughter ( can sense the tiresome and feeling weak in her voice).

I dont quite know the reason why mak and arwah abah kalau jumpa doc mesti nak converse in English :).

Sharon now has changed the meds from consume to merely patch. She taught us how to stick the patch on mak's body. The meds in morphine format will run via the blood vessel. One patch lasts for 3 days. In between mak can still take oxynorm an immediate pain reliever.

After checking on mak, we talked in the presence of Ed. I didnt know why must i cried infront of sharon. She calmed me down.

Sharon said cancer can be a silent killer. At times there are no signs at all ie sudden death.

She advised us on symptoms of within an hour; a drastic deterioration tht can cause death. Acc to her mak is deteriorating weekly n tht means she has more or less a month.

This morning i could see her response on what ever i communicated to her. She is in the state of confusion.

But to my surprise she talked to me. A simple one or two sentences saying that she is in pain...deep pain. All i could do is to hug her tight, kissed her forehead, held her hands and all the thunderstorm crashed inside me.