Life without a FATHER

Last week, I received  couple of SMSs from Oya which read "Anyah dah on the way balik ke?" And my reply was "yup and why". "Oya nak Anyah jadi guarantor for UITM punya form ni".. "Okay.. no problem" i replied back.

While driving home, my focus was on Oya... the first grandchild in the family. After her late father passed away (she was 9 at that time) she stayed with her grand parents- my parents. I couldn't figure out as to whether she misses her late father since she is a bit introvert when it comes to her 'personal' feelings. My mind is now narrowing to the moment when she was left unattended with a confused face on 29 March 2002, Ampang Putri Hospital - the day Azmin, my late brother breathed, the last time.

Yeah she was 9 and hardly knew (maybe) what was going on. She didnt cry at all... I found her little note book where she wrote down all the important phone numbers.. the list was on mine, the grand parents, my brothers and the name "Rumah Abah"... "Rumah Abah" was cancelled and replaced with "Rumah Arwah". I found this on the 3rd day kenduri tahlil...... I couldn't hold my tears then and even now....

She's grown now to be someone just like her late father (tall physically)...i tried so many times to 'talk' to her in other words to let her express her feelings.... I know life without someone to call a father is tough! Even though her uncles (my brothers) are around to offer her the love of a father, i think its not the same...
I could say that she was not that close to her mother (perhaps she was so attached with my parents since she was a baby). Their relationship is what I called as "formal mother daughter relationship" where my SIL will do the visits when it comes to festival celebrations and for school registration. Other than that, she belongs to us.

And i notice that living with grand parents have pros and cons..especially with a grand father who is over protective and hold fast to his beliefs (of coz with good intentions)  that he can "mould and control" Oya like he used to do on me when I was at Oya's age. Well there is a great difference between my time and Oya's ...which my father unintentionally failed to consider.  I strongly believe this is also a responsibility that he carries as a grandfather to his late son's daughter. And that has left Oya, a teenager with some discomfort at times... I sometimes received her SMSs at late nights voicing her unpleasant situations ... I pittied her but all I can do also as a mother to her...to calm her down and made her see what was wrong and what was right. 

I hope she will become an independent person and she is one now..She made her online  application for Uni alone... Without the love of a father, she managed to excel in her studies... yeah she did it...I knew how my parents felt on Oya's achievement. Its another jubilation of them both.

She is about to enrol in her Law studies in a week or two. I bid her all the best.... My parents will miss her a lot I guess despite all those naggings, complains and what not... Bringing up a girl is not that easy ..especially when technology is at its peak! I fear for her safety everyday... i think we in the family feel the same...


When she was 7, I still remembered my late brother's piece of words to her (which I think now is irrelevant...) "Abah frust ngan Oya... Abah hantar Oya pergi tuition, tapi Abah tak happy dengan results Oya"....
I was there during that moment and i think (now) at 7, she was as innocent as Amir who was playful all the times... hehhehe...

To Oya, congratulations... you did it... This is the beginning of everything..so hold on fast to the best principles of life...We love u and will always be there for you..

That reminds me Father's Day is just around the corner ....To my father, my beloved other half, brothers, friends and to all fathers out there... Happy Father's Day...