Mohammad Azmin Ariffin (1965 - 2002).

Flashing back... I then realised why on earth I kept on singing 'How Do I Live' by LeeAn Rimes...

A week before 29 March 2002, he called me .. informing that Qilla's birthday was just around the corner and he wanted to host a birthday party.

5 days before 29 March 2002, he told me to withdraw an X amount of money from the Family Trust Fund to give to a friend of mine - investing in his project. "If anything happened, get Ed to sign off since Ed is another signatory of the trust fund."

I refused to 'invest' but he insisted. "We promised him". That was his sincere reason. The last thing that I knew, he was admitted - severe chicken pox. I did call him before his admission... wanted to visit  him... He refused.  "Contagious' he said.

The first time I paid him a visit at the hospital was a casual one. But I noticed the rashes and blisters. It was all over his body.I knew he missed his daughters especially Oya. The nurses couldn't let Oya in to visit him. It really saddened me watching him cried out loud when he could only see Oya from far. Oya was 9 years old and barely understood what was going on.

26 March 2002, Joe received a call from his doc at 3.00 am. "Your brother is complaining of difficulty in breathing. We need your agreement to proceed with life support'. I was the last in the family to visit him before he was hooked to the life support machine. Sempat pegang tangan, kaki dia... I looked at him and whispered "It will get over soon..." He was looking at me... deeply. I stared away holding back the tears....

The next day, his colleagues, friends and our relatives came... But he was 'in coma'. When I went to see him, I could see tears from his eyes... The doc said his condition was stable but critical. I didn't go to the discussion with the doc. It was abah, Roy (his wife) and Zali (Roy's brother)..

28 March 2002, no one was permitted to pay any visit. It was a relieve to hear that the Doc said his condition was stabilized and his body was responding towards the medication.

That night I recited Yaasin and prayed hard that he will be back again. I even sent him an email explaining his condition with the hope that he will reply once he gets back to work.

But, as human, no matter how good the plans that we laid down .. HE still has the DECISIVE POWER.
On 29 March 2002, after subuh, I received a call from mum asking me to hurry to the hospital. While driving my heart was pounding. "Please God... We still need him... Please don't take him away... His family still want him...

Guess it was too late.... When I arrived, Oya was seen 'confused'. My parents were sobbing. Jo and Ed were in tears. I was the last to arrive... Azmin was no longer with us... "Allah sayangkan dia" ... slowly uttered by abah with deepest sorrow...I know mum was crying inside...

That was 8 years ago... I still 'see him' in my imagination...I dreamt of him often. But after a dream that I had 2 years after he had gone, he didn't appear anymore... In the final dream that I had with him, he told me "I have finally arrived home"...

Its hurt ... really hurt when someone you love was no longer with you. You can 'see' him but you cannot 'touch' him.  You feel like hugging him, but you could not. All you can do is to cherish the memories that you had together till one day when your time will arrive to join him...

Min, you are always in our hearts.... Always be remembered.... Nothing compares to you...
May you rest in peace....

And till now... I know it's ridiculous ... sometimes I am still hoping that I were to receive his reply of the email that I sent him ....

WMK 5760

Its been a while...
Tons of work keep on piling up... tak tau la bila nak susutnya... Tasks keep on coming... Well thinking on the good side... worth to stimulate the mind..
Have to take cuti.. Sounds funny huh? "Have to ".. Yeah.. I have carried forward 4 days from last year's annual leave to 2010. Just gotto know that I have to utilise them before 1 April...
Last week (Thursday - Friday - 2 days)... Next week (Mon- Tues). But need to go to the office next week. Kerja macam biasa...

Many unpredictable things happened last week. I think that's make our life more interesting (hope so...) and more challenging... The love of my life (second after the family) - WMK 5760 'ran amok'. Sent her to the clinic - spent RM800 for the medication... A week after that she had 'high fever'. This time round she was 'admitted' for almost a week and the bill reached RM1025.00!!! Whoaaaaaa.....

Now she is okay... I need to tell her this "I still love you" and will never substitute you with 'someone' else. This I promise you.... (I doubt it !!! hahahha).

During her absence, I got a lift from someone else (nearly 'fell in love with her'). We met at Shell and she dropped me off at the same place everyday without fail for almost a week. Thanks to WTE 3535 and of cos her 'master' Jiji....

Next, WMK 5760 would be directly involved in the Brand Ambassador Program (BAP). But still she has to go thru' certain procedures in order to justify whether or not her condition is fit to join.
If she fits in BAP, looks like no more (for a while I guess!) traffic queue cutting  especially in the morning ... just to beat the jam and clock in by 8.00 am!!Wonder is she can resist that... hahahha.

The Challenge Begins...

Been very busy. Rasa macam tak cukup tangan nak buat semua benda. There's no single task running at one time . Semuanya dah jadi double and tripple at one time. Since the management has given us the green light to proceed with our Social Venture (SV), we've got to get things started. The ignition key is currently running. The closer it gets to April, the more headache and more butterflies are in my stomach.

Today we were at 2 places - MOF and NSTP - trying to settle 4 things at one go. MOF - get the date for Song (again? Its been a year... ), IB launching and booking of the theathret hall as well as the protocol. At NSTP - trying to rope in the media to be our co-partner and getting MOHE to endorse the SV program. Everyone in Editorial, even MOHE is excited with the program. Looks like they bought our ideas... Cool huh?  Tetiba rasa kagum dengan apa yang dah buat...

At the office, get Kama to put up the rules, regulations, executive summary and etc. Simultaneously we are preparing for our DCE's farewell dinner. So everyone in the dept is running around. Ppl like Sally (even tho') not running is sitting still at her desk to ensure the farewell video and multimedia are completed by tomorrow. On top of that some reporters are pitching for CIF story...

Its tiring but happening and satisfying... Can't wait to explore more on the SV. Hope this is something good for the Bank... The Bank is really 'transforming' now. With Hujan's TVC in the pipeline and more product lauchings in planning, everyone in the department is running 'crazy'... yet 'happy' ... When the passion is there ... you bet, we can do almost everthing under the sky...

A Learning process

I've just visited my FB. Terbaca pulak an entry of a friend who is obviuosly having mixed feelings. Mad, frustrated, sad... I think I understand how she feels. Been there ... so rasanya boleh imagine perasaan dia sekarang. No doubt friends and family members are offering their shoulders to cry on... Giving moral support, advise and being good listeners. But whatever it is 'sakitnya' dalam hati tu takkan terubat dalam masa yang terdekat ni... Obviously it will take time. It depends on the individual though... Those with strong hearts will recover very soon. Those without will obviuosly suffer ... inside... But it is merely a learning process in life... A phase in life that we, human will have to go through... to make us stronger... and make us smile ... one fine day.

God knows what's the best for us.. To Adila, be strong, this will make you a better person.

Lemas ...

No I'm not drawning as in 'lemas' dalam air..
Its just that sometimes I feel like saying .. please gimme a break ! ... Give me some space will you?
Hey ... I am trying at my very very level best to act cool as if nothing is bugging me. Dunno how long will it last.
Been very  accommodative all this while...
Please la 'walk your talk'!

So long.. Farewell....

Last Friday, we, Puspanita organized a 'farewell party' for the 'pensioners to be' and to our beloved Vice Chairman, Puan Azian. I can say that the party went very well despite unpredictable glitches hahaha.. (Mdm Nilam, Sally ngan I ajer yang perasan kot...) but we managed to 'cover' perfectly.

6 pensioners to be diraikan. Kak Nah was the one who received the most 'gamat' round of applause. Aiseh Kama, I think you should be there laa... Kak Nah was on stage dengan penuh gaya yang tersendiri. I bet most of the ppl at BSN will miss her kuih, nasi berlauk, laksam and etc. Paling 'cool' ... Ganesh ... Mr Mogan macam malu-malu nak amik gambar wife dia...

Well, the highlight of the party was multimedia presentation for Pn Azian. Sebelum the event started, we tested the multimedia and some of the gals were 'touched' with the pictures and the background song "Goodbye from Air Supply". I bet Pn Azian was trying her best not to 'cry'.... though we really wanted her to cry .... Well some of the old photos 'saved' her la kot sebab gambar-gambar lama memang byk nostalgia and some of them were laughing looking at their photos.

We had the same event last year at Concorde Hotel. But I think this one at Maya was better. Better in terms of response (we had almost 200 members present),food, ambiance and arrangement.

Datin was happy too...
And Datin sempat kempen the ahli to be at our AGM... Cool huh!

My dear AJKs... you did it gals! My many thanks to all of you who have been working very hard to ensure the smooth running of the event. To Sue - I know you are damn happy since your KPI of the activities under your bureau is achieved! But I am still counting you in for another term!
To Sally - Gd job for being a sweet emcee...
Lat - apsal la ko boleh perasan no ID ko yang aku panggil !!!

Pose!~ while waiting for Datin's arrival.

The sweet emcee... Hey you forgot Datin's speech ..... lol!!

Mdm Nilam is 'lucky'... The prize that she won looks like a toilet role...??? No... it couldn't be... The organizer is not that 'cruel maaa..."


To Pn Azian: We gonna miss you and We wish you all the best.....

"Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Boleh kami menumpang mandi
Kalau ada umur yang panjang
Boleh kita berjumpa lagi

Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu layuan
Intai kami antara nampak
Esok jangan rindu rinduan"

From all of us:

KPI! KPI! ..... aim high.

We just got the instruction to enhance our KPI... not to enhance like putting more 'unnecessary' numbers or 'flamboyant' wordings that make your KPI 'sounds interesting' IN FACT we have to suggest the ratings and weightage and put the numbers that 'sounds achievable'...

Well the Bank is into this performance driven culture...
A good move ...

Looking at the KPIs that I have put for myself, I think it works both ways : good and bad... hahaha. Good as in I am setting KPIs that are said to be easily or perhaps reasonably measurable .. and kalau tak achieve "SIAP!!!" ... marks can be easily deductible. I am actually stretching to my limits to achieve what I have set. A challenge for me as well... Am I able to 'perform' like before? Sometimes when you have all the young ppl around you, you tend to think and work fast. I think work smart has been soooo manipulated too much... Well you still have to work smart though .. but perhaps merely under certain situation/condition :) Obviously working with the young ppl aspires me to work harder. True, experience counts! but sometimes I have to admit that I got the energy from them. Being young and vibrant, they aspire me to give the best out of me. Thanks guys. U know who you are! :)

And this new KPI setting will also be considered as the yard stick to measure one's b****.wow.. talking about b****... I have to say that in my entire working life, this is the 2nd time that I'll be getting one. Thank God for giving me this opportunity and rezeki. Can't hardly wait for that man! My bro just got his. Out of RM35K, after deducting the tax and epf, he merely gets around RM19K... looks like nearly half of the b**** went to the regulatory bodies :) I reserve my comment on that.

Well whatever it is, I am sure some of you guys are counting the days too. But of coz, mind your KPI in order to aim high for your B**** Good for you and good for the organization!