AkU MerEpEK

I dont know what went wrong today..
Am I so cold and insensitive?

But the scenario explained otherwise. My counter part was actually insensitive and snapped on easily..
Hmmmhhh... well ... I will act like normal as I know that I have done nothing serious... or is it because of that nothing serious I got so called penalised?

My heart and brain are not in sync lately.. I am missing sumthin.. Gosh... couldn't be..
Or should I give myself a nice spank so that I could wake up!! this is not a dreamland.. This is not alice in wonderland.. this is reallll... wake up please.. come on brain.. come on heart... let it go... It means nothing... It has ended ...officially... Nothing to look back. What left is merely traces of puzzle that is impossible to be ...paired?. Its not a confusion... Its a combination of a short span of happiness, excitement and towards the end a denial?

Apa aku merepek ni Labuuuu...
I need to rest my mind ...
It has been processing beyond its capacity at times.. hahaha..
and leave the body weak...
and mind always wondering ...searching and searching...

And heart strongly pumping
... but deep inside shyly weeping...

  

oUT of CuriOsiTY

I did something crazy..
OMG!!!!

But this is based on curiosity..
I followed an advice from someone senior... to relay every situation and communication to someone... which I did.

I asked a friend ... did I do something stupid?
Did I do something based on immaturity?
The Hell No!!!!!

But let's see how it begins or ends.. I don;t know which comes first now.
I always tell myself this is me... always wanting to know how my curiosity ends..
The curiosity sometimes looks real..for good.. But sometimes fake.
OMG!!!!

Maybe I think so hard, being so cautious and trying hard to read the counter part's mind so bloody hard that made me haywire at times.

But blame it on myself. I want it at the first place. I want it to be my own experience.
All I have to do now is to stay focus.
To pray to Allah that I have strong will to avoid any unpredictable wrong doings ..
To think twice before I conclude to a decision ...
To always think straight and rationale...
And to be SOBER..
Its only the beginning... not even half way...
I am so confused..

Stay STrOng Sis!

I am not sure how am I supposed to pen down my words now..

This is specially dedicated to someone...
You have been so strong..
I salute you for that..

Flashing back if I were to be at your place now,, I will be melting ... crying ... and perhaps grasping for supporting hands to assist me to stand still and fight the fear inside.

It gave me a hard spank on my face looking at how you faced the situation. You were calm outside...
I know you were struggling inside ....  

I can never imagined how would I react if my time comes... I know it will ...one of these days..
The fear of losing someone close to you for the rest of your life is like a taboo to me..

I hope you will continue the strength that you have in you..
Seeing your calmness just now made my eyes watered
I pray that you will stay strong until the chapter ends..
Stay Strong Ros... I know you will...
You will always have my shoulder to cry on...