I still need you..

I thought I saw him opened the door and walked into the room. I woke up and looked after him in his 'cave' - his favourite room where he spent most of his time reading, calculating and writing... But he wasn't there. I opened the window, there was no sig of his car... It was 2.30 am...

I was waken up by a phone call from him. It was 3.25am.. "Yang .... I accident ... kat Jln Tun Razak"...
Speechless.. the only thing that I asked "Are u okay?".

I couldn't sleep .. my heart was pumping and wanted to fetch him but luckily a cousin was around and setteld everything... Went and fetched him at Pusrawi 2 hours after that... I saw wounds and lacerations on some parts of his body. Few stitches on his forehead. He looked so blur and confused...

The car was totally a wreck! He was given another 'life' ...
To my bloved husband... I'm glad ... and I really mean it... that you are okay...
I dont think I can afford to lose someone like you now...and forever ...as long as I live ...

WTY 1873 ...after the accident...

Baru sebulan monthly instalment ... whoaaaaaa.....

Both airbags were functioning...due the impact. The interior ....after the accident

Blood stains...

The driver.... perhaps thinking how did it happen...

God knows what was he thinking ..... hahaha...

T R U S T

Do you still remember, when you were at your younger age perhaps in your primary school, you used to share little secrets only with your closest friends (maybe one or two of them) and mentioned this to them "you promise me, do not tell anyone ha...This is between you and me only"... and for all you know next 2 days the little secrets were no longer secrets...

And do you still  remember when you were in your good old days ... I mean during your college or Uni... you shared secrets on the boys / seniors whom you had crush on / attracted to... and of coz still reminding your best friend to keep them dear to their hearts... Unfortunately it didn't last long... The following week the whole faculty of your class would have known who you admired most ...

When you were at your early stage working in a big company.. and it happened that you were one of the emergency rescue team.. The commitee will share on the fire drill exercise... and ... on the day itself you and few of your close friends were already at the ground flr...


But what is the real value of a trust ... it's a wide definition and depends on a situation/subject matter..
Will someone consider me I have betrayed his/her trust if I shared his/her problems with other friends?

Will someone consider me a bad person if I have betrayed his/her trust just for the sake of having fun...

Only God Knows...

I once read "without trust no relationship can thrive"...

Tht's how importance trust is...

Have we progressed?

I was 'called' to write this after what happened last week.
To me progress is not merely limited to technology economy and development...
But counts in the progress of our mind and attitude...
I just couldnt believe why some ppl (well educated) will some how or rather fail to note the importance of progress in mind and attitude..
Perhaps some people are still ruled by their own emotions...
Perhap some people still hold fast to selfishness...
and some couldn't borther as long as they got what they aim for and fulfilled their needs...
Deep in my heart, I am expecting some positive changes among the team, friends and relatives...

and often asked myself as well... have I progressed?
The truth is I am still progressing .... and will always be...
Its a learning process in life...

Working my brain cells

I have been busy, tired and excited lately.
SVC? Uni road shows? Program Prihatin (with Dato Sohaimi Shaidan), Futsal? PC in Perak? India trip? Walkathon? BSN Rangers?
Social Venture Challenge - has started.. and the road shows to all Unis have also started...
So far, went to UKM, UPM, KLMU, USIM, UITM, UIA, UNITEN, Lim Kok Wing... and yesterday UUM, Sintok.
It was a tiring journey - presented to almost 70 students on the SVC in the morning. Driven to Penang by 2 officers from cawangan (Farhanah and En Aziz). Nasib baik dapat tukar flight petang... kalau tak pukul 12 malam un belum sampai umah.

Tomorrow - walkathon  7km..Frankly the first walkathon that I've ever participated. Then next week, we have to plan how to get the rest of Unis visited. Perhaps to divide into 2 groups.

Well... its really tiring, take up a lot of my time... but it makes my brain cells working...
At 43 now... I am proud... am still going strong, young (even though at heart) and some ppl though that I am not even 40... (puji diri sendiri....).
Guess... I have to get myself involved in so many things and stuff (be it responsibilty or voluntarily) in order to be fast and efficient...

Malang tak berbau?

Betul kata orang... malang tak berbau... Kalau kita boleh bau/hidu, of coz dapat dielakkan.
This is not about me ... but apparently about my dad.
Last Sunday, genap sebulan he got his right eye cataract removed. The doc, even mum and all of us advised him not to be as 'active' as before. Well... being an ex army and who can't really sit the whole day, he often broke the rules... by doing all sort of things ...
He fractured his right hand wrist...

Mak : apa dah jadi ni?
Abah : Ntah... tak nampak ada satu lagi step... ingatkan pijak tanah... rupanya pijak angin
Mak : Apa buat kat bawah tu?
Abah : Tebang pokok pisang tu... abis pisang kat bawah tu camner? saya dah tertingga kat bawah...
Mak : Dah jatuh camni pun ingat pokok pisang la... buah pisang la... dah dah dah... biar budak-budak tu kang ambik..

Kebetulan, the next day, it was my turn to send him to do his follow up check up with Dr Saras on his eyes at TONEH. Mesti orang ingat dia salah hospital... Tangan bersimen...tapi ada kat hospital mata!!!

Apa- apa pun, Amir paling kecoh..

Amir : Abah... abah... atok jatuh tadi. Tapi atuk tak nangis
Abah : Ye ke? Camner atuk jatuh?
Amir : Dia main kat bawah tadi lepas tu dia jatuh...
Amir : Abah.. atuk ada tangan baru..
Abah : Tangan baru macamana?
Amir : TAngan atuk keras... warna putih ...

I have the feeling that mesti abah ni tak senang duduk. 2 Aug pergi check up balik. Hopefuly he will recover soon. Pity him....
And now, I have to drive Oya every morning to school. Mum has to drive the car. Sib baik boleh bawak kete... manual plak tu...

But mum told me when she went to the market with dad (dgn tangan bersimen)... dad is just like a celebrity...
Everyone kat pasar tu tak kira Melayu ke, Cina ke, India ke, Indon ke ... toke ikan, toke daging, toke ayam, orang mesin kelapa semua tanya dia ..... hahahaa.... Hope that will cheer him up...!

psttt... tak sabar rasanya nak tulis kat tangan simen abah " You jump, I jump"... Get well soon Dad, We love you!!

I am still searching

Do you ever have the kinda feeling that you are 'too lazy' to work even though your works are piling up...
That is what I feel now.... well the mood is just not there...
I know this is procrastination... but I just couldn't help it... I am a dead body if any of the CEs ever have the opportunity to read this...

But I am still sober.... I still have not missed my deadline... yet... :)

I think this kinda feeling is quite normal. There are times and moments in our life that we need to be alone..
that moments when you feel that you just need  a break from all the routines! That's what I am feeling right now. But of coz being a person who feels that tasks given must be deliberately delivered and fulfilled, I always ensure that this feeling will come to its station when I've had enuf. Well, am proud to say that all this while I manage my time and procrastination well. A pat to my shoulder hahaha...

Sometimes it makes me guilty at times and frankly  i do hate myself for having such a feeling ..even though I reasoned myself this is normal and it happens to everyone.

Maybe too much routines or its about time to peep into other challenges? Something to ponder upon. No... I'm not leaving the current place..as yet. I think I have learnt quite a lot in order to understand the organization better, how it works, how it is managed and the most important thing how to suit myself in its 'culture'. Though it was difficult for me to adapt during my early days but I am used to it now...The beauty of it, you've gotta the opportunity to meet all kinds of ppl here. Its a challenge by itself.  And I think I've made it!!

But I'm only human and of coz I tend to make mistakes, blunders and bloopers... But come to think of it, its the best part of all. I believe there are a lot more to learn. And in the process of learning, we will encounter problems, feelings of discomfort, dissatisfaction and even hatred. I hope that these will make me a better person. There is no coincidence in life. I am fated to be here and for a reason that I am still searching...

Thank you God for everything!

Ops Talk of the town vs Sotong Bakar

Went off to Penang last Friday. Suddenly we thought that we should go for a vacation. A 'simple' vacation .. tak la sampai obersi (oversea). Cant afford that at the moment ... time as well as $$$!! Yeah just got the bonus after a long painstaking waiting.. :) .. Alhamdulillah .... but lots of things to settle with that $$$.

Amir was excited as usual. I think the last vacation the three of us had together was last year..also Penang but I had to attend for an event at that time.

Thought this vaction could take away if not all but perhaps some of the mess in my head.. especially the social challenge (Operasi Talk of the town!).. Looks like the management is really on to it now.. hmmhhh why ? all of a sudden. Have laid some plans with the team and to kick off next week.  Hope everything is manageable...This operasi talk of the town has been declared as my KPI... My KPI??? whatever!!


Had fun with hubby and Amir.. walaupun penat and at times Amir had his own tantrum... kadang kadang pening nak layan... but layan ajer la... just follow the flow... Amir has been requesting us to take him for a train ride. Went to Bukit Bendera... still renovation in progress after more than one year... To pay back, we went to the Toy Museum.  I thought the toys showcased are huge ones but it was not... Quite a dissappointment..but not to little kid like Amir la...

Whatever it is, I like Penang for its food... the signature is of coz its nasi kandar. I saw people queuing for nasi kandar at its famaous Line Clear irrespective of gender and race... We did not have nasi kandar at all... but we had mee udang, sotong bakar, kue teow kerang and its pasembur. Amir boleh mengadap sotong bakar sorang..... Before we went back to KL ... sempat repeat sotong bakar....

On our way back to KL, rasa macam malas dan bercinta nak pergi kerja... Feel like continue resting..
But when suddenly the work KPI crossed my mind, feel like I have to gear myself and fuel my team for the same objective...

But I really miss the sotong bakar... must repeat... must repeat...hahahah....