i need a breakkk

sighhhhh....this is supposed to be a long sighhhhh..
am i tired or what? Well not physically but perhaps mentally and emotionally.
really wanting to set this chain free..

I thinK I MiSS HiM

I think I miss him.
He has been away for more than a week now. 

Sometimes I wonder if he ever missed me like I do now..
Practically, I travel more than him..
Leaving both him and lil'Amir ... orang kata tuntutan kerja...
Is the feeling that I feel now is the same like he felt every time I am away...
Hmmhhh maybe...
But I hate this feeling..
Something is missing in my life...

Luckily we now live in the era of advent technology..
I can talk to him any time I want
But at the same time I have my ego as well...
Pretending not to missing him... Huh... what an ego right!

Well after being together for more than 10 years... he knows what's buggin' me and I know what's inside him..

I think we miss each other's company..
Each other's touch
Each other's  affection
Its just that sometimes ....
its better left unspoken..

 

Me and my FeeLing ...

Sighhh... it is meant to be a long one...
Yeah..yeah... my last post was in Feb and it has been about 4 months that I left this blog of mine unattended...

Ready for the lame excuses? Its not that lame or rather not at all.
I have my own reasons... valid, concrete and ...and... bla bla bla..

Well sometimes when the feel is there you will pen down the words even though time doesn't permit you... but when the urge together with the feel is not around you tend to delete all sentences that you wtite...

that's me... and my feel in writing...
Trying to find n create da mood...

Let's see will I survive these few hours with at least an entry... haahah

AnOthEr noTe to My SoN

Dear Amir

You're 7 today!!  How time flies..

All the prayers for you... today, tomorrow and forever
For you to be brave to walk alone
.... to overcome the challenges ahead
.....to jump over the hurdles of life
and break through the brick walls
When we are no longer beside you...
When we are gone ..
And you are alone..


Moments with you...
Moments that we treasure the most

3 years old

With cousin - Akmal Amin

4th birthday!

Love water ...

4 year old with Kak Long

Walk with confidence my son..
Explore and embrace the world with joy..
Hold fast to the best principles of life...
And be the man of honor..
 Even though its still a long way for you to go...

New hair cut

... once upon a time..

Nearly 2 years old... love this pic!

During 2nd birthday

Kacak bergaya

Don't want this to be left unsaid..
My dearest son ..We love you..
We'll always will..

Happy 7th Birthday

With lots of love:
.... abah & mak...

Do yOu KnOw?

A light reading.
Visited Taman Botani a month ago.
Checked out this place for a group of delegates from Asia Pacific for a forum in May 2013.

Like I used to say... life is a learning process.
Check it out.
Fruits... herbs...

                             Pokok langsuir... smells nice... selalunya orang tanam di kawasan perkuburan... But can also be used as one of the main 'ingredients' in perfume oil

Jack fruit  a.k.a. nangka..

Misai kucing....

I forgot the name of this herb... but meant for women only!

Rokan manis... actually its damnnn sour...hahahahah

Lada hitam... or black pepper

Mata kucing...

Kopi robusta .... looks a bit weird

Buah mentega... it smells like mentega... no joke!

Kedondong or amra

And finally... this is me... rubber tapping cum photographer of the excursion... hahhaah

Thank you to Yusrizal... from Taman Botani. Everything is in his finger tips...
This place is recommended for family outing as well...but frequently visited by schools...
A good educational place. Thumbs up!

Yusrizal and Ida.. in buggy car...

Self RefLecTioN

 
This is something easy and difficult to do simultaneously!
Something that I chose to write during CNY holidays...   

My 'model' of self reflection ....

But do we do self reflection on ourselves? Yeah perhaps some of us do and finally identified what needs to be corrected and what needs to be improved. Some learned from their on personal mistakes. Alhamdulillah. And some learned from other people's experience. Be it from your own experience and from others', most important is you 'scan' yourselves, 'fixed' the problems and be a better person.

This is somehow easier said than done. Sometimes, its difficult for us to acknowledge/admit our own mistakes. Perhaps its merely hard habit to break. But being human and in search of our own true self, we ought to change for good.

Lately I have been encountering so may issues and problems; both my own and other peoples'. Have been trying to be rationale even though sometimes its painstakingly hurting inside out. Guess its for my own betterment as a grown up person (how do you refer a person who is almost 46 years of age - a grown up? or perhaps an elderly ? .. hahahha!).

10 or 15 years back, I would react differently. The young blood inside you would be the agent for you to act unconsciously. ... criticizing, scrutinizing, condemning, blaming.. so as to speak out your mind... wildly and bluntly!   But as you grow older and wiser, you changed. All those inferences like  'I am better than you...'  no longer prevail. Perhaps after all those years, we are more shrewd in our thinking and actions as these two would act in one direction towards self reflection. We will not be easily snapped and speak our mind differently and of coz professionally.

Now, what ever happened to others, I would observe, learn and not trying to do the same mistakes. Trying my best not to use criticism as the only medium to speak but on the other hand embarking on the concept of cause and effect as part of learning process. That would Insyallah, hinder myself from repeating the same problem and experience the same after effects or aftermath of a problem or  a situation of the same manner.

Unlikely, if you dwell in the same issues and matters which you obviously kinda expect the result, - negative- you would definitely drain your energy, loosen your hope and beaten your inner strength! However, like people use to say... there is always blessing in disguise - you might learn something new along the way as you experience it yourself. But why must you waste your time when you know the truth? God knows! I don't have the answer for that. Maybe you are the chosen one. When you are the chosen one, I believe you are the most loved and tested differently.

But whatever the situation is, the most important thing is for me to continuously observing ,,, and learning... through what ever happened near my surroundings. Life is a never ending learning process. It depends on how we see things and accept whatever happened to us with an open mind and open heart. And its not easy. True, its from Allah. HE rules.... and I am a tiny person in HIS whole Universe.... and at this moment of time, all I ever need is HIS Blessings.  WallahuA'lam.

KaWan AtaU LaWaN

Dalam bahasa orang putih ~~~ friend or foe...
Sebutan sahaja yang berlainan ..maksud dan makna sama jer  ..tak kurang tak lebih...

Kita semua mengalaminya..
Betul... ianya melemaskan dan menyesakkan dada. Menyakitkan hati pulak memang bonus utamanya!
Adakalanya aku terfikir ada jugak manusia macam ni kat muka bumi Allah ni... malah bilangan mereka menjadi-jadi ramainya.... [aku rasa la kan...]

Kebiasaannya, 'kawan atau lawan' ini  amat bijak bermuka-muka dan amat manis bila berbicara..Orang kata depan kita 'pijak semut pun tak mati'. Belakang kita... macam-macam ceritanya..
Haa yang ni omputeh kata back stabbing...

Aku merupakan salah seorang mangsa kawan atau lawan ni ... sekarang ni dah tinggal saki bakinya ajer...
Dah menjadi hobi kawan atau lawan ini mereka atau menokok tambah cerita... add more spices... biar pedas dan hangat... lama-lama hangit jadinya..

Ha? apa dia? Macamana aku sedar yang kawan itu sebenarnya lawan?
Aku tak sedar pun...tapi aku percaya Tuhan tu yang tentukan segalanya.
Orang kata sepandai pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga...
Dia pun tak tau yang aku tau semua hipokrasinya...
Kalau aku tanya takut dia malu... 
Aku percaya tabiat kawan makan kawan ini lama kelamaan akan terbongkar dengan sendirinya.

Mungkin tupai itu tak jatuh lagi ke tanah... masih tersangkut kat mana-mana dahan...
Ish kalau jatuh terus ...parah tu...
Tuhan tu masih sayangkan dia...
Aku percaya Tuhan tu adil...

Kalau tak sabar memang makan diri, makan hati...remuk redam jadinya..
Tapi kalau semangat kuat dan penuh kesabaran, InsyaAllah kita dilindungiNYA.
Alhamdulillah... walaupun ada suatu ketika aku rasa payahnya nak lalui hari-hari aku, tapi berkat kesabaran dan sentiasa redha dengan apa yang terjadi, aku masih di sini. Bukan senang ni beb...tapi terpaksa la harung ajer...

Serik? Siapa yang tak serik... Tapi itu adat resam dunia..
Itu lah yang menjadikan kita manusia yang dianugerahkan dengan akal fikiran untuk terus bertindak positif dan menerima semua yang datang dengan hati yang terbuka dan jiwa yang tenang. Tapi masa mula-mula kena mesti tak tenang punya... lama kelamaan kita akan redha dengan apa yang jadi..

Hahahah... memang la senang nak cakap kan..tapi bila kena kat atas batang hidung aku sendiri, payah jugak nak mengharungnya. Buat itu tak kena, buat ini tak kena...tension janganlah  cerita...

Yelah... orang kata terlajak perahu boleh undur semula, terlajak kata, buruk padahnya. So, ingat-ingat lah semua. Berhati-hatilah bila membuka bicara. Kadang-kadang kita ni over excited sampai lupa apa yang kita tuturkan mengguris-guris hati orang lain.

Apa-apa pun, dari lubuk hati ini, aku doakan sesiapa sahaja yang boleh digolongkan dalam 'kawan atau lawan' ini mendapat rahmatNYA. Semuga mereka-mereka disedarkan dari sikap sedemikian.
Aku juga mohon supaya aku tidak tergolong di dalam golongan tersebut.

Kadang-kadang aku pun tak tau macamana orang boleh jadi kawan dan lawan dalam masa yang sama. Banyak keje nak buat tu... banyak mende nak ingat tu... sebab kat si polan A dia cakap lain, kat si polan B dia cakap lain pulak... Ishhhhh aku tak reti nak reka cerita banyak-banyak ni... Dah ler aku ni pelupa.. kang nasib tak baik kantoiii!!! Tak faham apa muslihat sebenarnya...

Entahh la... naper aku buat entry kali ni dalam BM dan tajuk pun semacam ...
Nak mengingatkan diri sendiri ...
Kuasa semua di tanganNYA
Kita semua merancang
DIA juga yang menentukan..

Wassalam...

BR1M 2.0.. BSN in ActIoN!

Date : 2 Feb 2013
Venue : Taman Dagang, Ampang.
Reached venue : 9.45am
PM's arrival : 12.00 noon
Counters open for encashment : 12.45 noon

Multi expression of faces..and races.

Uncontrolled crowd ...

I have this kinda 'feeling good inside' observing this pakcik. Happiness shown !

Bro ni kena pakai hella ... to control the eager recipients

Check it out.. The Big Man was here...

Proof of payments... Yo go BSN!!

This bank is now on its peak at technology.. using a small device for the encashment process... am proud .woot .. woot...

RELA .. betul betul rela... Ins. Buyong in action!

A pool of people lining up...

I am a stalker too Boss...

Feeling great... Cheers!

This small device is incredible... completed a transaction within less than 45 sec!! Kau hado???

Crowd controller... sempat betulkan beret hat..

The lady in blue tudung was so consistent!

More and more crowd

The volunteers at work!

Two different expressions ...

Observing, managing and advising... stress? NO mann..

The full packed people were gone.. within less than 1 and half hour !!

Finally the happy faces .....

A big smile equals to 'good job guys!'

Photographer of the day....

This post is ain't about political issues.
Frankly, it makes some of us feel good.. looking at those people especially the elderly, the mothers with babies ... lining up and see their faces of joy and thankful upon receiving the money.
To some people it is about money but to some of us its about helping people...

As for the organization, we are subtly aiming and riding high...
This community bank has proven that 'nothing is impossible'..