This is the single word that I have uttered couple of times today...
Wait... not couple of times... but most of the times...to be exact ... nothing works until you do as per planned.. of coz a proper planning!
I was a bit (not a bit actually...) disturbed of what happened within the division.
Failure to plan is actually plan to fail... have you heard that before...
Its damn true...
Or if I may add not only plan to fail but also simply putting your 'neck' at stake!
That sounds terrible right?
But it is a good lesson to some people if they see the insights of proper planning.
I am a so so organized person.. or in other words not so organized lah..
But at the rate that I am going now, I cant afford to have that so so attitude of mine reflect my failure to plan.
On a different note, I can't do that alone.
Need the people surrounding to also be more sensitive towards their surrounding..
By now we should have felt the negative vibes...
The key word perhaps is commitment ......
....to be tagged along with responsibility... coupled with proactive..
That equals to a so called perfect human being right? Cruel I am?
Who cares anyway...
Its our turf..
Avoiding to say "I should haves" ...
That implies regret...
That infers unsatisfactorily feelings for not achieving something.
So O ye people... lets move it..
Its time to be on our feet again!
At the end of the day ...Either you take it or leave it.
That sounds definite..
... at the moment!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
OwNerShip
For these past few days I have been thinking about sense of ownership.
You guys have this? or is it merely a noun? (if its a noun lah!)
I have been asking myself do I have that as well...
To certain extend perhaps I do.
But its in depth might varies accordingly ... depending on timing, situation and position.
I think mine is not ownership. Perhaps it is more on responsibility.
Not to brag, but when its required, I did settle most of my tasks at home, late nights maybe.
Not at the office la... Am known to be someone who is very penakut... so don't expect me to stay back late at the office..
I hate procrastination..
Ermmm I think that's the best to describe my sense of ownership.
Some people said I am a panicky. Well to certain extend yes... but of coz you are panic if things are not to your expectation or not done according to specifications or not within the time line.
Because that people will not be answerable. Its me ... so panic is my middle name eh? Not for me to decide... depends ... I am just doing my job and I am so wanting my job to be closed to perfect ... if its not perfect.
On a different note, I know my limits. Being in this working industry for years have justified me with some tactics on when to lay low profile and play truant... and when to be on my feet so that when questioned by the sovereigns, everything is at my finger tips.
But its quite a mess if some people is not either one. Yeah its a challenge. That challenge has been a while....
It is frustrating....
No joke..
I am...
Thursday, November 15, 2012
We MadE iT ThroUGH!!
Hey peeps!
I'm celebrating my 16th years of anniversary today. What's so good about that? I'm bragging?
No lah....
To me or rather to both of us (hubby and me), this is another victory of ours...Well not that difficult though to ruin a marriage institution... but its very very damn difficult to make it works for the 16th years...
i wonder how those people before us especially my parents ... to face, go through and overcome problems, differences and etc in marriage... Its not that God must love them so much... but it would rather they must love each other so much I guess...
Love to me frankly, at the age of our marriage now is perhaps secondary. But its still the integral part of a marriage institution. At 16 years of marriage, responsibility comes first. Love is actually shading the responsibility... It takes love to do anything in marriage. But to certain phase of marriage (like mine), its love that makes you want to be responsible, its love that pushes you to take full charge and care for your family.. it takes love to get you going...
On a surface... yeah i know its easier said than done. But its a hell lots of hard work, sacrifices, give and take, understanding and accept your other half just the way he/she is. I have to admit there are weaknesses of each other that each and every couple should accept with open hearts. We are not perfect. Instead we should be completing each other.
Writing like a marriage counselor huh? No.. lahh... This is based on my own experience. If I were to follow my 'young heart', I won't be celebrating my 16th years anniversary... I won't appreciate these 16 challenging years with my other half. Why? I still believe marriage is a taboo. Its still a sacred institution. You have to know yourself first in order to understand your other half. Not an easy task. I cried, I laughed, I had twisted emotions, i had mixed feelings... and yes i suffered... inside....
But who cares... I still have my hubby around ... for the love, for the care and for the shelter...
My other half, by the name of Md Rafiq Md Nordin - thank you is the best suited word that I can say at the very moment. Thank you for the 16 years... sharing all the love, responsibility, laughter, happiness moments together...
For all those moments that are not mentioned here are for both of us to look back, learn and improve ourselves.
Wooohoooooooo.... we made it through... Looking forward for more exciting years with you!
Happy Anniversary My Love!
I'm celebrating my 16th years of anniversary today. What's so good about that? I'm bragging?
No lah....
To me or rather to both of us (hubby and me), this is another victory of ours...Well not that difficult though to ruin a marriage institution... but its very very damn difficult to make it works for the 16th years...
i wonder how those people before us especially my parents ... to face, go through and overcome problems, differences and etc in marriage... Its not that God must love them so much... but it would rather they must love each other so much I guess...
Love to me frankly, at the age of our marriage now is perhaps secondary. But its still the integral part of a marriage institution. At 16 years of marriage, responsibility comes first. Love is actually shading the responsibility... It takes love to do anything in marriage. But to certain phase of marriage (like mine), its love that makes you want to be responsible, its love that pushes you to take full charge and care for your family.. it takes love to get you going...
On a surface... yeah i know its easier said than done. But its a hell lots of hard work, sacrifices, give and take, understanding and accept your other half just the way he/she is. I have to admit there are weaknesses of each other that each and every couple should accept with open hearts. We are not perfect. Instead we should be completing each other.
Writing like a marriage counselor huh? No.. lahh... This is based on my own experience. If I were to follow my 'young heart', I won't be celebrating my 16th years anniversary... I won't appreciate these 16 challenging years with my other half. Why? I still believe marriage is a taboo. Its still a sacred institution. You have to know yourself first in order to understand your other half. Not an easy task. I cried, I laughed, I had twisted emotions, i had mixed feelings... and yes i suffered... inside....
But who cares... I still have my hubby around ... for the love, for the care and for the shelter...
My other half, by the name of Md Rafiq Md Nordin - thank you is the best suited word that I can say at the very moment. Thank you for the 16 years... sharing all the love, responsibility, laughter, happiness moments together...
For all those moments that are not mentioned here are for both of us to look back, learn and improve ourselves.
Wooohoooooooo.... we made it through... Looking forward for more exciting years with you!
Happy Anniversary My Love!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
NEed A BreAK
Looking forward for a break. Really need them.....
On the other hand.... tasks are increasing...
Positively adopt and adapt these as challenges...
On a positive note ..it builds not merely courage..but also confidence...defeats the weak and develops the strong...
Its mind blogging to realise tht ppl come and go. But the decision isn't mine... like it or not life has to go on. Still believe tht no one is indispensible...
Good luck to me... goodbyes to those who left n leaving soon. Each n everyone of u has touched my life in a very unique manner... n has thought me ..whatever happen u should believe in yourself. U (yourself) r capable to overcome ...come what may... its the determination that counts!
Happy Diwali everyone !
LiFe is SO IndeFInite
Its been a while now. Mum has been frequenting the hospital for her regular check ups. Again, we were caught by surprise last month when the doc detected another lump. But this time round mum was so determined, strong willed without a single tear.. Dad, as usual looked so worried. As for 3 of us, we accepted the news with an open heart. Told mum, not to think so much on what she's facing... all she has to do is to be calm, relax and think positive. I said that with so positive voice.. without realizing i was crying inside. But deep in my heart, I know she will be fine.
Two weeks after that news, we were blessed with another related news. I actually demanded the doc to refer to Prof Fuad for a second opinion. Mum called from the hospital. With a very positive tone she relayed the opinion given by her oncologist. The lump is too small... can be found in each and everyone of us. No need to do any RT or chemo. But mum still has to go for her check ups as usual in case the benign becomes malign. At 71 now, all we want to see is she continues her life for another (the least) 10 good years! As for Dad, being a person who was once very strong physically and mentally, at 75 now, I can see that he is trying his best to become the old him...but he could not...His condition is hurdling him...his age is a factor that cant be set aside...but what ever happen, this unsung hero is still the only HERO in our hearts...
May HE bestows and grants both of them [mum and dad] the ever lasting happiness...good health and continuous determination to go through the indefinite minutes, hours and days ... until the end of the life chapter... INSYA ALLAH.
Two weeks after that news, we were blessed with another related news. I actually demanded the doc to refer to Prof Fuad for a second opinion. Mum called from the hospital. With a very positive tone she relayed the opinion given by her oncologist. The lump is too small... can be found in each and everyone of us. No need to do any RT or chemo. But mum still has to go for her check ups as usual in case the benign becomes malign. At 71 now, all we want to see is she continues her life for another (the least) 10 good years! As for Dad, being a person who was once very strong physically and mentally, at 75 now, I can see that he is trying his best to become the old him...but he could not...His condition is hurdling him...his age is a factor that cant be set aside...but what ever happen, this unsung hero is still the only HERO in our hearts...
May HE bestows and grants both of them [mum and dad] the ever lasting happiness...good health and continuous determination to go through the indefinite minutes, hours and days ... until the end of the life chapter... INSYA ALLAH.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
She' s LEAVING .. for GooD
Guess this time around... there is no turning back. She has made up her mind... for real.
About a month ago when she broke the news, deep in my heart I wanted it to be mainly a form of dissatisfaction on some unresolved issues on some influential individuals...Well more than often it happened to me too. I bet if I were to be at her age now, I would be a quitter.. Like we Malays used to say and grumble... "Malas nak layan kerenah manusia yang tak berpijak di bumi nyata". But, the other side of me, I am saluting her for all the courage that she has inside in embracing all those kind of immature and illogical moments of some people around us. Have to admit, my patience runs low when it comes to dealing with this kinda situation.
Knowing her for more than 10 years, I am amazed with her cool attitude at times especially when it comes to "critical' moments. I would be the one wondering left and right and yup...she stays calm and cool. I know having her beside me in such situations is pure prudent blessings. Not really sure though what would happen to me without her presence! hahahahaha....whatever it is I have to survive on my own way and I know I will....
To certain extend, she is my companion. There were things that are too personal to be discussed openly with some friends and even to your siblings! Well I shared them with her... perhaps she is always there when I needed someone to confide with... Often she is the one to know first on certain :sad" or "tragic" or even "stupid" moments happened or I myself created in my life.
I am not sure why it really touches my sensibility this time round...when she said that she's leaving...again...but this time for good and of coz for real! I keep on praying for miracles to happen as hindrance or the stumble block for her not to pursue her intention. But this time, the miracles are no where to be found and not even a single sign shown to indicate that she would stay.
So she is leaving... soon. I foresee I might be in some akward moments when she is no longer around. Well maybe I promise - takkan ada meja yang terbalik or kerusi yang dibaling!!!! if I were to be stuffed with some stupidity.... hahahhha.... But people say as you grow older, you are wiser in your decisions... and I hope it does apply to me.
And to you my friend.. Jiji aka Carmen aka Babuji ; You'll be missed and remembered for all the things that you have done... be it good or even 'bad' hahahaha... I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and may HIS blessings be with you always.
So long my friend! :)
And something tells me we wont be under a same roof again....
About a month ago when she broke the news, deep in my heart I wanted it to be mainly a form of dissatisfaction on some unresolved issues on some influential individuals...Well more than often it happened to me too. I bet if I were to be at her age now, I would be a quitter.. Like we Malays used to say and grumble... "Malas nak layan kerenah manusia yang tak berpijak di bumi nyata". But, the other side of me, I am saluting her for all the courage that she has inside in embracing all those kind of immature and illogical moments of some people around us. Have to admit, my patience runs low when it comes to dealing with this kinda situation.
Knowing her for more than 10 years, I am amazed with her cool attitude at times especially when it comes to "critical' moments. I would be the one wondering left and right and yup...she stays calm and cool. I know having her beside me in such situations is pure prudent blessings. Not really sure though what would happen to me without her presence! hahahahaha....whatever it is I have to survive on my own way and I know I will....
To certain extend, she is my companion. There were things that are too personal to be discussed openly with some friends and even to your siblings! Well I shared them with her... perhaps she is always there when I needed someone to confide with... Often she is the one to know first on certain :sad" or "tragic" or even "stupid" moments happened or I myself created in my life.
I am not sure why it really touches my sensibility this time round...when she said that she's leaving...again...but this time for good and of coz for real! I keep on praying for miracles to happen as hindrance or the stumble block for her not to pursue her intention. But this time, the miracles are no where to be found and not even a single sign shown to indicate that she would stay.
So she is leaving... soon. I foresee I might be in some akward moments when she is no longer around. Well maybe I promise - takkan ada meja yang terbalik or kerusi yang dibaling!!!! if I were to be stuffed with some stupidity.... hahahhha.... But people say as you grow older, you are wiser in your decisions... and I hope it does apply to me.
And to you my friend.. Jiji aka Carmen aka Babuji ; You'll be missed and remembered for all the things that you have done... be it good or even 'bad' hahahaha... I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and may HIS blessings be with you always.
So long my friend! :)
And something tells me we wont be under a same roof again....
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Ramadhan is here!
Alhamdulillah... Allah has bestowed and showered HIS blessings on me ... I am still breathing to go through and to feel the barakah of Ramadhan ....
Just like before, Ramadhan always reminds me of my beloved late brother Azmin. It has been 10 years. He has been missed a lot. I still remember, Azmin never missed his Terawih during his last Ramadhan... one of the hidden signs before he left us for good.
It's a ritual I guess... first Iftar in Ramadhan will be spent together with the whole family.... followed by maghrib jemaah. This year is a bit different. Dad is no longer the Imam. Ed is leading the prayer now. Dad now performs his prayer on wheelchair. Anis who turned 5 last Jan, don herself in telekung to be part of the jemaah. She stands besides mum who sits on a chair for all her prayers now. Things are not the same. Mum used to cook for the first Iftar in Ramadhan. After what happened, she is no longer that capable to do "heavy cooking". The duty firmly rests on me! Well, think I should be proud of myself... hahahhha... even though today something happened during cooking. The stove exploded!!!! I escaped unhurt (even though I could feel my heart beating so fast). Thought someone's pray/ wishes come through. But I guess HE rules the situation. I am still blessed .... I am still breathing... deep and continuous .Alhamdulillah...
To all my family members and my dear friends, I hope we will sail through this Ramadhan with good deeds and never ending patience. Deep in my heart, I am also hoping that HE opens the hearts of some people ...to accept life with an open mind. Insyallah HE knows what's the best for everyone of us.
Salam Ramadhan peeps!
Just like before, Ramadhan always reminds me of my beloved late brother Azmin. It has been 10 years. He has been missed a lot. I still remember, Azmin never missed his Terawih during his last Ramadhan... one of the hidden signs before he left us for good.
It's a ritual I guess... first Iftar in Ramadhan will be spent together with the whole family.... followed by maghrib jemaah. This year is a bit different. Dad is no longer the Imam. Ed is leading the prayer now. Dad now performs his prayer on wheelchair. Anis who turned 5 last Jan, don herself in telekung to be part of the jemaah. She stands besides mum who sits on a chair for all her prayers now. Things are not the same. Mum used to cook for the first Iftar in Ramadhan. After what happened, she is no longer that capable to do "heavy cooking". The duty firmly rests on me! Well, think I should be proud of myself... hahahhha... even though today something happened during cooking. The stove exploded!!!! I escaped unhurt (even though I could feel my heart beating so fast). Thought someone's pray/ wishes come through. But I guess HE rules the situation. I am still blessed .... I am still breathing... deep and continuous .Alhamdulillah...
To all my family members and my dear friends, I hope we will sail through this Ramadhan with good deeds and never ending patience. Deep in my heart, I am also hoping that HE opens the hearts of some people ...to accept life with an open mind. Insyallah HE knows what's the best for everyone of us.
Salam Ramadhan peeps!
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