A Challenge of EMOTIONS

I have been praying hard ....
Pray that soon, she will recover ...
Pray that she is strong to face and overcome what she has been experiencing now...
At this moment, that is all I need.


Had to deal with my own emotions last night....right after the doc revealed her prognosis.
On top of dealing with my own unstable emotions, had to act so cool...like nothing serious ...like I can do wonders... and she can be rest assured that there is nothing wrong with her. ...when in total fact, it is not.

When the doc mentioned that maybe the cancer has spread to her lungs, I felt its the end of my world....without thinking of her's. It was like an explosion of a ticking bomb smacked right onto my face . That news has put me at my lowest degree of emotion. I cried the whole night.  It was more disheartening when I observed that she was emotionally down.

She would probably cool at one time and confuse subsequently. While tears running down, I had to put her into comfort. I knew it might not help when I heard my trembling voice ......Her emotions retaliated I guess...  a clear indication thru a sudden high fever and continuous coughing. Sponged her all night...and her BP shooted up!

I didnt even know where the strength came within me then... Told myself she is my reflection. Have to keep my spirit high. Kept on whispering to her that she will be okay...that she is a fighter ..... I could see another patient who was in chemo treatment observed me all the time. Every now and then I would shed my tears...

It was a long night and I even wished ridiculously.. please let this be one of my nightmares... But it wasn't.

I am still here. Watching her breathe in and out. Holding her hands... with tears running inside.
I am aiming for her speedy recovery.
Being here with her has taught me a lot about life...emotions ...fate...challenge...and most importantly a love for a mother.

What I'm experiencing now is really an emotional challenge ... that demands positivity, high spirit, emotionally strong  and patience.
This is a long winded journey of emotions ...
A journey that I dont want to be deprived of...

A journey that has no definite end....