STRONGER, I should BE

I was talking to her just now when suddenly Amir said he wanted to speak to her.
"Kenapa lamanya nenek nak sihat" (what took you so long to get better)... that conversation hurts me...
I know Amir has been missing her... so do the others...
I have not been spending my nights with her since yesterday....since all beds are now fully occupied.

Her first neighbour is a teacher. Still young and single she  got her fibroid removed in Dec last year and is currently doing her 2nd round of chemo. For the very first time I understood what is chemo and how does chemo acts in cancer treatment. I think she is a stong lady.

Then came makcik Wan Jarah, aged 73 and had her ovary removed also last year. She had lost her hair and was admitted due to vomitting and lost of apetite. She was discarged this evening after the doc said that she is in good condition. She had 4 rounds of chemo. Before leaving, she said she will not undergo the chemo treatment again as it 'hurts; her a lot...

Then came the 3rd neighbour, Makcik Zaharah, 56 years of age and had completed her final chemo (altogether 6 rounds). She got her tumor removed in 2010. She too had lost her hair. She was here for ct scan; a normal procedure to track further expansion of the cancer (if any).

Next came a lady by the name of Jenny. I didnt manage to speak to her. This morning she had a major operation. Mum said from 8.00 am until 5,00pm. But her other half was always present and seen to be very caring.

The last  neighbour was placed on her left side. A Malay lady by the name of Kak Rina. aged 49. When she was first admitted to the ward, I thought she was a teenage aged maybe 18 due to her size. She was crying, sobbing and moaning in pain. Her maid told me that she had ovarian cancer and got the tumor removed 10 years ago, She has a child. Lost her husband last year. The brothers and a niece are taking care of her. She is in bad condition and the cancer is destroying her. I pity her a lot...

Looking what's and who's surrounding her at the moment, I realised this might be some of the consequences that all cancer patients wil have to go through. I always make sure that these surroundings will not hamper her from keeping herself positive mentally and physically.

I am not sure what I did is wrong or right. I googled on cancer treatments, chemo, radiotheraphy and the consequences, how to deal with the consequences of chemo and radiotherapy treatment and etc... I channel the info to her in such a subtle way and convince her that she will be okay. All she has to do is continue to be strong and  avoid uncessary stress.

Sometimes I think its easier said than done.... I dont know what's inside her mind... I dont know how 'strong' is her strong...
... and as for me... I am left with no choice but to be stronger and stronger each day...
... and have FAITH in ALLAH.